Getting it off my Chest

I'm going to start posting some of the stuff I wrote in the few weeks after we weren't talking any more. I have two reasons for doing this. The first one is that I just want people to read them, I know that I'm not the only one and so that I can get them out of that dark corner of my heart and mind were they are hiding. The other reason is because some of them are good I think, some of the best stuff I have written maybe, and I don't want to keep that, I want to share it and see what you guys think.

So here it is, I will start with the first one, I wrote this three days after we stopped talking. I think this was the first time I'd really done anything to express myself except cry. I haven't read or showed this to anyone before I don't think.

FOOT STEPS THROUGH THE BATTLE FIELD

(unload two days after I lost you, I love you baby, and this hurt me so much. I LOVE YOU)

I feel like I’m floating above the world. My life is spread before me in a long trail leading away into the stars. A trail of tears with cracks every so often, cracks were my heart broke. With tiny bright spots between the pain.

This stage of my life is like a war zone, a battle ground were peace can not be reached and hopes and dreams fall dead at my feet. I don’t know if I shall every feel peace again, if ever there shall be a soft glisten on the horizon, just enough to tell me I’ll see the light again.

The sand turns to mud as I cry on the ground below me. And slowly another crack appears in the path of my life as once again my heart brakes and love says good-bye. I wonder how many times a heart can break, how many pieces it can be lost before there is none of it left. Till it’s all been given away to those you love.

Life is a long story of pain and suffering, with those tiny spots of light to show that God does still care. And if you look very closely in the mud, wet with your tears, you will see his footsteps, leading you slowly towards the next point of light.

And all you can do is treasure that letter that you meant to send, but couldn’t, because they just weren’t there any more. Let that piece of your heart go that you gave to them, and always remember them for the one that God sent to get you through.

He knows what you need, and he will always lead you. Your life was made by Him before you were born and He will shape you as you grow, till you are what He needs you to be. And no matter how many times your heart brakes, no matter how many friends leave you. His footsteps will always make a path through the battle zone till you reach the light on the other side